BC Council for Families

While parents play a huge part in shaping the personalities and behaviours of their children, the influence of siblings cannot be underestimated. A study from the University of Illinois examines how siblings act as “agents of socialization” and sheds more light on why kids choose certain behaviours.

Kids learn about social niceties from their parents -- how to act in public, how not to embarrass oneself at the dinner table, for example. But from siblings come lessons in more informal behaviors -- how to act at school or on the street and around friends. “What we learn from our sisters and brothers: For better or for worse” clarifies how sibling relationships can have either good or bad influences.

Younger siblings often mimic behaviours of older siblings, but there are also many exceptions where they decide to make a definite break from the elder’s example. Research indicates that whether their decisions have positive consequences depends on the nature of the siblings’ relationship. If parents can foster a supportive relationship, negative influences and patterns can be avoided. Early positive bonding tends to last.

As for only children, their socialization functions differently. They may not necessarily be less socialized than other kids when given abundant opportunities to develop their skills through friends. The study shows how understanding how much children learn through each other adds depth to our understanding of child development.