BC Council for Families

by Marilee Peters
Director of Communications

When adolescents are confident that they matter to their families -- when they feel they make a difference in the family's daily life -- they are less likely to be violent to other family members.

That's one of the key findings from a new study into the sources of family violence, led by Brown University sociologist Gregory Elliott and published in Journal of Family Issues.

Elliott's analysis of data gathered from over 2000 interviews with US teens determined that failing to matter to their family increased the probability that teens would act violently to family members. The study's authors believe that mattering has an effect on both self-esteem and on one's attitude toward violence, which ultimately determines one's violent behavior.

A relatively new concept, "mattering" is one's belief that they make a difference in the world around them. Mattering has three aspects -- awareness, importance, and reliance. Do others know you exist? Do they invest time and resources in you? Do they look to you as a resource? Elliott contends that mattering is the fundamental motivation in human beings. "Above all else, there's a need to matter," he says.

"Mattering is the prime mover in a chain reaction involving self-esteem and attitudes toward violence," said Elliott. "If you don't matter, it sets up a chain of unfortunate feelings and events that makes it difficult to get along."