BC Council for Families

by Pilar Onatra
Program Coordinator

What do your friends mean to you? According to recent research, they could be more important to your health, happiness, and longevity than you may think.

For proof, San Fransisco State University professor Brian De Vries, writing in a recent issue of the Vanier Institute of the Family's Transitions magazine, points to an Australian study of 1500 individuals over the age of 70 which revealed that those with the largest social networks lived longer, while the influence of children and family seemed to have little impact on length of life. De Vries, a gerontologist, also points out that according to Statistics Canada, approximately 20% of all caregivers supporting seniors are "friends or neighbours, often women and men of comparable ages to the care recipient." And, he adds, "there is a strong reason to suspect that these numbers greatly underestimate the proportions of friends providing care."

As Canada's population continues to age, (It is predicted that 20% of Canada’s population will be 65 and older within 2 decades), points out DeVries, "the capacity of friends to do the ‘work’ formerly ascribed to family has perhaps never been so been so apparent—or even so necessary."

So exactly when does a caring relationship stop being friendship and start becoming family? That's the question that interests De Vries, who argues that the central importance of friendship in the lives of many older adults may be redefining our understanding of family. To understand the significance of later life friendships, he compares these relationships to the families of choice pioneered by members of the lesbian and gay community: "A family is a circle of friends who love you. You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends and make a family. Creating a family of friends is really a joy. The rewards are immense.”